my angels

yesterday when i was so tired and fed up, i thought about getting a nap for an hour but it turned out to be that i ignored my handphone's alarm ring and the cold(i didn't even cover myself wit blanket coz i went to bed wit the thought i'll wake up in an hour!!!) and slept as long as i can. till my sister came to me and i heard some kinda mumbling noise and soon she tucked me into bed. tucked me by the way that she covered me with the comforter, asking me to just go to sleep and wake up the next morning. i mean... that was really sweet of her. when i actually thought wut happened yesterday, it really touched my heart. just that..i am guilty that i didnt complete my work. but she is so,so, so sweeeeettt....and so she's my angel.
so is phylicia....a friend of mine who is in the same college..guiding me to finish up my perspective drwgs..giving me ideas....wishing us good lucks....the way she's concerned touched my heart too..so here i say..good luck to her too...

=/

have u ever come to a point of life where u'll b thinking," y do we huv to work so hard, be successful, earn lots of money,etc just to end up being dead?". well i was. while i was standing in the bus. the reason i was thinking like that was because i'm down. and the reason i'm down is because of this interior design; the cyber cafe(CC) project. i lost confidence after the mid sem project. that was a disaster(believe me!). i thought this CC is gonna be the same to. and i was thinking that i'm actually failing in my mission to b a better designer. but later, the project became interesting..ha!so i believed. but i was slow in everything. lack of self discipline.rmmbr? i drew perspectives and showed my friend lecturer today when he dropped the bomb saying he don't see my concept in the space(my concept is dream). that totally threw me off. if i wanna change the space again and draw the perspectives again, i'll b totaly devastated. but there's no concept. so wut should i do? so turning back to the question y we working so hard?...well i'm so-called putting all my effort on this field. i feel like quitting but wut else is there do? life isnt jsut easy to survive especially if tehre's no money..and so everybody gotta work no matter they like it or not and live a life just to end up being dead. if there's some people who can make him/herself..well at least that's worth livng for..but if it's otherwise, wut is the point there? and so...that's wut bugging my head right now. i wanna be good in this. i'm trying but i'm just not reaching there at all. my brother put this kinda perspective inside my head. so is my sis. and now i'm also learning a bit about it from this guy friend of mine, Sean.
y live life hard till sacrifice joy? hmmm....but if all is joy..that'll b another story with its cons.
right now...cyber cafe project should b my concern. and yes....my semester 3 isn't going really great. it's more to thrashy than improving. and i'm really worried about that.

'',

still one week to go for interior design: cyber cafe project's assessment. the BIG day is on next monday.one thing for sure is... i won't b sleeping the day before that. that is some kind of ritual on every assessment that i do. not only me but eevryone else who's in the same place as mine. and after the assesment, we'll go back home and take a bath n eat and will snore away till the next morning-noon.
but rght now..i still huv three perspectives to complete...and presentation technique's colouring and so on n on...haih...fun..yes its fun but its tiring as well
but yes..there's one thing..i need somebody to tell me...erm ..on how to discipline myself. coz that's one problem that is so obvious in me. i realized that and i can see that and i bet others can see that too.

oh no!!!!

yesterday was my critic session for my studio project. we r designing a cybercafe and my concept is dream. wyh dream? coz it's also another state of "not real". so internet-cyber-virtual reality connects somehow with a person's dream.
critic session went bad. real bad. i think i'm really lazy or mayb i'm SERIOUSLY not managing my time wisely. i think it's both. when everybody pasted mre than two A3 butter paper on the wall, i only pasted two. n i was like wut's in the number??? and my lecturer said it's ALL about impression. haih!!!!
and u know wut else?? my lecturer said i'm lazy! and i need to work more!!!! it's so ironic...end of sem2 i was praised for my lecs coz i was't like other indian but here i am , in the end of sem 3 and i'm being commented badly. haih...
i just feel like i'm so gonna fail......