i wonder

can things that we dream in our sleeps ever come true or at least comes close at being true?
well i had one weird dream..i was dodging this @ and i woke up and was heading somewhere when the dream came close to being real. it was the same @, same colour, same issue. but it happened otherwise from my dream (i acted otherwise) but still it was close enough to wutever that happened when i was sleeping. that's weird...
and weirder coz...i hated that dream but it came SO close to real, but when i especially liked a dream and wants it to come true...hrmph...it never got any closer. ha,that's life isn't it?
but forget about that and share my happiness....... i got a SMILE(be happy for me,will ya?even if u dun get wut i mean!)! and it was the sweetest of all coz i least expected it! thank u for the smile! hahahaha! :) :)

wut a day that 'day' was!

so i went to the holy cave that tuesday.was forced to get up at 3.30am-can u believe that?who on earth wants to get up that time????well my family did and i HAD to!my parents said that its better to go very very early in the morning coz it'll be refreshing and there'll b less crowd and they were right...except for the crowd!i'm amazed at how religious hindus are!the crowd will forever be there while some "cosily" sleeping here and there(on the floor,under the bridge,on the car,...u name it) and pushing was such a major thing even for a grown-up lady...haih,how immatured(and to that "lady" who pushed me....Please GROW UP,lady!)!
and so we climbed the stairs(272steps is it?) and got down before the sun rises..so i was happy coz we'll b back home in no time!
batu caves is a nice place actually THAT if u minus the crowd!go on a normal day and u'll know...
and of coz there were unsightly incidents..such as the one where "the hindu god/goddess" takes over a human body(did i get that term right?) especially those who were carrying big 'kavadis' and those who pierced their bodies...it was scary to look at the "god".they were wailing like a creature(believe me its REALLY scary) and i'll say that i can't tell whether they are putting a good act or something did REALLY took over their body...i asked my mom and a few ppl about this but nobody can answer that Q clearly...so well i just dun want to believe all those weird stuffs...but hope that someone WILL explain about that to me!
and of coz the other thing that pissed me off is...they were playing linkin park's songs at the "funfair" instead of a holy song!sheesh! imagine that?that is the worst thing that can ever happen to me! such an insult to all linkin park fans!true!...and yeah that u should be playing a catchy song for that funfair but puh-lease...linkin park songs??????they shouldn't even be havin those funfair(something like a small themepark) in the first place afterall its a religious occassion we were at....but that i dun give much care...its the thing where they played linkin park songs....i just dont like that idea AT ALL..and it was so loud till u can't even hear a thing they were singing!how dumb and insane can that be???? BL**dy hell!curse them for doing that!
so we actually reached home around 12noon after wondering here and there n after havin our breakfast+lunch.and soon after, we slept our day off after havin a refreshing bath....me?i slept till 5pm....it was SO hot that i couldn't sleep any longer!but at least i got to sleep! :)
and so one feared day had gone...its the thing like waking up early in the morning that scares me the most and then the incidents where the humans started wailing like creatures!those are the two main things that i hate most about thaipusam!and then other matters come in the way! like..........hihihi-i'd better keep them to myself ;)

:) :) :) lilalilalila!lilalilala!

friday came, then saturday and then sunday.never felt so at ease even with assignments in hand.i spent those three days simply without doing nothing.and yup..i didn't touch my hws nor had any intentions to do so.at night,i savoured the beauty that GOD gives:the bright moon,twinkling stars,cool and windy air (which gives u the chill factor) and the so so clear sky-all these creates a perfect night...and me? i'm grateful with everything around me including the incredible nights that i got to see!i'm telling ya that night was a night to remember.so cosy.so comfy.so...so...serene!and sunday came and so i rushed my hw again(as usual) and went to classes again and done with it...and here i am..on a monday night with tomorrow being a holiday coz of a religious purpose-for the hindus-its thaipusam and as i'm one...well my parents will b dragging me there to the "holy BATU CAVES"and join other "Hindus" to offer prayers/to get 'blessings'!and i'm pretty sure it won't really turn out to be a good day tomorrow ;/!
so for my hw(s)...haih..forget about that and i'll worry about my trip to the holy site!!!

p/s:i wish that i could see shooting stars(i dreamt about it recently so my heart desires) and also the northern/southern lights.

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

well right now i dun feel so good! not at all...i huv assignments to hand in tomorrow....hmmm..actually today...around 8.30am later....oh yeah n i'm still not sleeping(its 1.58am-oh!isn't it late enough?)...its better if i just leave out everything n pop into bed..just like that.. without doin much n go to class tomorrow..ooppss..today and be there like a dumb..like someone who has no any creativity...who is maybe in de wrong field after all coz she can't design anything that is good enough..haih....but i can't ...coz that feeling of goin there empty handed is a terrible thing to go through..as if i'm in college for nothing..like i'm just wasting my fathers money...and the other thing the lecturer who makes me feel guilty about the much amount of work and good designs that i do(well i realize that the subjects are all making me look like a girl with an empty mind!haihhhhhh(long sulking)...i just feel like crying out loud.... this sucks!
and the other thing is.. no much how many f**kin time i tell myself not to put things to be done in the last minute, i'll just keep doing otherwise! and YES there r still works undone..last minute as usual!haih... ;( and how many times had i reminded myself that i'll finish "everything" on sunday where there'll b no class...and there u go..sunday comes and sunday goes and my hw(s) keeps stacking up and the pevious stacked hws are still stacked!:( and NOW i'm waiting for friday as it'll b a holiday..and yeah "i'll do everything on friday.no more last minute works"----yeah right loshini!go on thinking positive! :(
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
hmmm..........i'm going to sleep now!with unstable emotions: guilty,scared,not satisfied,mad,etc.etc....am i taking all this too seriously? even if i do,i just dun see myself doin anything to improve...if my brother puts all this in words..he'll say that i huv LACK OF SELF DISCIPLINE and lucky me he's not here or he'll b mad with the way i'm behaving! well i do realize my misbehaviour..but i just don't see myself doing anything to be better!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!sob!sob! :( wut a life?wut a ME!!!!
i dun feel like going to college!haha!actually i can be doin my work than writing this whole thing...but no loshini did not do that coz she can't think.she's dumbfounded!so how is she goin to face the lecturer tomorrow?....haih!i'll tell ya after goin through a shitty day at college!

its hot and i'm the one who is feeling the worse

haih!its hot...both my surrounding and my body! i think i'm falling sick...but i've been having this since last week...i THINK i'm falling sick...but i can still get up and do stuffs and laugh around. wut i mean is i'm still energetic! but this situation is totally making me uncomfortable...i'm right in front of the fan with its max speed but i'm still feeling UNCOMFORTABLE! sometimes i doubt if i'm having "denggi"...hahaha..hope its not true! besides i huv another explanation for having this uncomfortable situation....i'm havin a growin tooth:my wisdom tooth it is and i tell ya its the worst pain ever....totally...it hurts A LOT!haih... ;( and ppl say having a growin tooth can also cause fever.well i hope its true!
anyway classes started again yesterday and i'm loaded with homeworks again..in fact i'm doin my h/w while writing this out! my project this time is to design the whole interior of a double storey house and i should b creating i'm-at-a-vacation-house senses into the building!phew!that's tough enough!so i'm searchin and searchin and searchin in the internet! and i just feel like popping onto the bed! haih!!!!!!!!!

me at my down moment(s)

its january 6 and there's only few days to go for my classes to continue again. THREE days left actually :( . after having an almost one month break, i'm so used to being relaxed and just laze around till the thought of classes troubles my innocent and calm mind. not that i don't like my course but its the thought that i huv to go to classes to study and the late classes and the travelling period i huv to go through to reach college and of coursemore assignments. true!true!all these is normal for all kinds of student but haih! :(
i wanna live my life carefree! ha! but there's nothing like that right? anyway, college also means i'll get to see my friends...my dear friends!
yup,so my life continues again next week...at college..and of course there's this other thing that is stored for me next week...i'll get to see my crush :)..that's for sure! but hmmm i dunno how u define that..is it crush or is it love or...or...or...hmmm...(see i'm havin a troubled mind) anyway, the thing is its so easy to fall in love but to actually express the feeling is one hell hard of time! that's what i'm goin through!(and see now i'm being like a total teenage girl ;/-sheesh) and OF COURSE now i'm getting SICK of all this! TOTALLY!haha!
anyway, beginning from this week i huv been enjoying every moments of my sleep...there was also once when i woke around the time my sis was getting up to go to work and i was like: wow!am i not lucky that i get to sleep longer than her! and i further tucked myself and was sm8iling away thinking that i don't huv to get up till 10.30am and ZZZZZZ ! :) haha!wut a bliss! but pity my poor sister-not that i care!hahaha!actually...i've read this on articles/ heard it from some ppl...:waking up in the middle of a sleep knowing that there are still more time to sleep is one perfect joy!try it and u'll agree with me! unless u dunno how to have fun!hahaha!
and meanwhile i'll just keep on savouring every moment of my leftover holiday! haih! :(