well right now i dun feel so good! not at all...i huv assignments to hand in tomorrow....hmmm..actually today...around 8.30am later....oh yeah n i'm still not sleeping(its 1.58am-oh!isn't it late enough?)...its better if i just leave out everything n pop into bed..just like that.. without doin much n go to class tomorrow..ooppss..today and be there like a dumb..like someone who has no any creativity...who is maybe in de wrong field after all coz she can't design anything that is good enough..haih....but i can't ...coz that feeling of goin there empty handed is a terrible thing to go through..as if i'm in college for nothing..like i'm just wasting my fathers money...and the other thing the lecturer who makes me feel guilty about the much amount of work and good designs that i do(well i realize that the subjects are all making me look like a girl with an empty mind!haihhhhhh(long sulking)...i just feel like crying out loud.... this sucks!
and the other thing is.. no much how many f**kin time i tell myself not to put things to be done in the last minute, i'll just keep doing otherwise! and YES there r still works undone..last minute as usual!haih... ;( and how many times had i reminded myself that i'll finish "everything" on sunday where there'll b no class...and there u go..sunday comes and sunday goes and my hw(s) keeps stacking up and the pevious stacked hws are still stacked!:( and NOW i'm waiting for friday as it'll b a holiday..and yeah "i'll do everything on friday.no more last minute works"----yeah right loshini!go on thinking positive! :(
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
hmmm..........i'm going to sleep now!with unstable emotions: guilty,scared,not satisfied,mad,etc.etc....am i taking all this too seriously? even if i do,i just dun see myself doin anything to improve...if my brother puts all this in words..he'll say that i huv LACK OF SELF DISCIPLINE and lucky me he's not here or he'll b mad with the way i'm behaving! well i do realize my misbehaviour..but i just don't see myself doing anything to be better!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!sob!sob! :( wut a life?wut a ME!!!!
i dun feel like going to college!haha!actually i can be doin my work than writing this whole thing...but no loshini did not do that coz she can't think.she's dumbfounded!so how is she goin to face the lecturer tomorrow?....haih!i'll tell ya after goin through a shitty day at college!
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